Blogging

Never in history have so many people with so little to say said so little to so few.

This has pretty much always been my stance on blogging, narcissistic self-indulgence. But I thought that I might start one this summer anyways so my family and friends could hear about my Alaskan adventures and be comforted in knowing that I have not yet had a bear grind my bones to make his bread.

Day 0 (not yet in Alaska)

In the airport in Phoenix I met two interesting people. Naturally I was at the peak of a gnarly cold and could only croak to communicate with them.

The first was Emilia, who was in my freshman year Polish class at UNC. I remember liking her because she was the only one in class who was worse at Polish then I was. I used to complain all the time about being the worst, but Mike would reassure me, that “No Megan, Emilia is definitely worse than you are. She just does her homework in a group with Julia and Andrea, so she has the right answers then. But really she’s the worst.” Too bad Emilia left after the first semester. So for the next two I was undeniably The Worst. But it was still good to see her. Now that she is no longer attempting to conquer abstruse Eastern European languages, she is waiting tables at Princess Cruises, our arch-enemy company.

The second person was Allison Chatterbox McGill. She was two years old and very cute. She kept running up to me and talking to me in the airport while I waited. She would ask me a question and the laugh and run away because my voice sounded like “a lizard.” I board the plane and settle into my seat in row five when a flight attendant comes to ask me if I would like to swap seats to row twelve for a window seat. *WIN.* Guess who is sitting in row eleven? Immediately after the “Fasten Seat Belts” sign was turned off, Chatterbox popped out of her seat and stood up and turned around to talk to me. For an hour. Just when I am starting to wonder just how much steam this two year old’s got, she launches into a story about the time her parents left her at a shopping mall and her father decides that maybe the nice girl behind her would like to rest.

Flying into Anchorage was beautiful. It was a bit foggy, but you could still make out all of the lakes and the mountains. And even though it was after midnight, it was just kind of dusky. It looked like the sun was perpetually setting. Even though they tell everyone that it’s light for twenty-four hours in Alaska in the summer, you really can’t imagine how bizarre it is to be walking around the airport at 1:00 in the morning and it feels like 7:30.

I took a cab to the company’s house in Anchorage, checked the bedrooms, found myself to be alone, and then passed out on the couch. Long day.

Day 1

Today I woke up at 5:30 in the morning, because it still feels like 9:30. I lazed on the couch for a while watching the trees and then hopped in the shower. So I’m walking around the house, making tea, in a towel, when this forty-something-year-old man walks down the stairs and introduces himself as Todd. Ah. Bad job checking the bedrooms last night. Apparently not alone. Todd was nice though. He is a safari guide and takes clients on long trips (seven-nine days) up to Denali and Fairbanks.

It was actually really warm and sunny—I think near 85. Apparently it’s been like that the last few days. Climate change hits harder up here. I walked around town a little bit, got lost, and called Brian who directed me around Anchorage from Chapel Hill (which was very impressive). When I got back another girl arrived at the house. She was Stephanie and she was going to be the cook out at the back country lodge.

A van came later that afternoon to take me and Stephanie into camp, about a two hour drive away. The girl who was driving us was the new safari intern, Christina. She was also very nice. The drive was gorgeous. Absolutely amazing. The mountains here are like nothing I’ve ever seen before. And when we were about two miles away from camp, a moose ran out in front of us, many ten yards away. It was so big! At first I thought it was a giant horse because it had shed its antlers, but it was too big and awkward. Moose are very powerful and can run very fast, but they are not graceful creatures. It was very cool.

Camp is cool. Like summer camp. I never got to go to summer camp. (Mom: “Okay, Megan. You just live that out then.” I can practically see her rolling her eyes through the phone.) Kyle introduced me to a lot of people whose names I can’t remember, but they all seemed nice. I moved into my tent-cabin, which I like a lot. Not incredibly warm, but very cozy.

I met my boss, Rece, who is completely adorable and I may already have a slight crush on her. Also, today a bird flew into the kitchen and got itself stuck in the skylight, trying to get out. She stood on the counter and caught it in her hand with a dishrag and threw it out the door so it could escape. She’s great.

I went to bed early because I was still jetlagged and exhausted. But overall, I was pleased to have survived day one.

Day 2

Started work today. (Although I was pretty sure I was supposed to start tomorrow, but apparently Darla thought that I looked a little too comfortable eating my lunch at the table and decided that I could start today.) There was a big group there yesterday that just left and no major trips at camp for the rest of the week, so not much of my actual job needed to be done. So my job for the next two days was Darla’s bitch. I pretty much did whatever chores she told me to do. But that was okay, because (a) I learned where lots of things in camp are (b) I like Darla, she reminds me of Karen Belciglio, and (c) I learned to thatch grass, which is obviously an important life skill. (Thatching grass is a lot like raking, but more arduous and less efficient.)

Later that day I went to watch the company’s softball team play in a tournament in a community league. We played Moose Pass, a group of locals, mostly senior citizens, and let me tell you… these Alaskans did nothing but practice softball all winter (actually, that’s a lie—apparently the same group is also involved in a community pond hockey league). They were so badass. They annihilated us. Twenty-one to nothing in five innings. It was embarrassing.

Day 3: More chores. More thatching. In the rain. But then two boys (who are actually also both from the Carolinas) started a sauna, which was completely amazing. Apparently the tradition is that you get in the sauna until it’s uncomfortably hot (uh, I was still comfortable) and then plunge yourself into the 38 degree river. Then you run back into the sauna to experience a “pleasant burning sensation.” It’s basically a full-body CPT. Supposedly if you do this three times (fuckwhat?!) you will “completely cleanse your soul.” Well, to attest to the power of socially induced placebo analgesia, I did it twice and felt very cleansed. (You feel cleansed, right? Uh, yeah, definitely.)

Later that night we walked to a local restaurant to have a drink and then walked to the other campgrounds, Turquoise, for a campfire. It was pretty fun. But you don’t realized how late it is, since it’s so light outside. By the time I got back it was one in the morning. My bed is nice, but very cold. I am looking forward to some body heat to warm me up at night.

Day 4

First day of real work. Rece was back (yes!) and I learned how to fill food orders to send out to the backcountry lodge, how to pack baskets for the road trips to Denali and the raft trips to KFGL. Also I got to cook lots of tasty food. Good day overall. I am still exhausted though from the last two nights, so I think I’ll skip the softball game in favor of kicking it in early.